The Girl Called Red
by JediGurrl
Summary: An Alternate Universe Tale, Darien has a new partner. A Young Woman. rating for innuendo and mild swearing, not to graphic
1. Default Chapter

Red propped herself up on her elbow and looked at the man lying next to her in the bed. She ran her fingers down the row of crescent shaped scars between his ribs and his navel, "You know, Dare. If you'd never met me, you wouldn't have these scars." She ran her fingers over the scars on the side of his neck and across his collarbone, "These either." Darien caught her hand and held it, "Ramona, if I'd never met you, I'd be dead. On multiple occasions." Red smiled, "You're the only person that can get away with calling me 'Ramona.' If Hobbes tried it, I'd kill him."  
"I know you would." Darien stroked the inside of Red's elbow absently.  
"Dare, we didn't... last night... we didn't...?" Darien grinned at her bewilderment, "We just slept Ramona. That's all. Neither of us was really in any condition to do anything else." Red smiled roguishly, "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling better. The Official did say that we could have the day off to recover."  
"What are you suggesting we do?" Red's smile widened, "Well," She drew the word out to at least two syllables, "I think that we should go down to Costa's and get some banana cream pie, with peanut butter of course. Then go to the mall for some retail therapy." Darien's jaw hung open, the hand that had been stroking Red's elbow seemed paralyzed. Red sat up to look at Darien, "What? Did you have something else in mind?" Darien sat up as well, "I was kinda hoping for some second to third base therapy. On second thought, giver our record with baked goods and going to the mall, the chances of getting that are pretty high." Red leaned in and kissed the tip of Darien's nose, "First dibs on the shower!" She flung the blanket across Darien and bolted to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.  
  
Who is Ramona? Why is she known as 'Red'? Why are she and Darien living together? Why would Darien be dead (albeit unscarred) if he had never met her? Why Peanut Butter? What exactly is their record with baked goods and going to the mall? Why would the Official give anyone the day off? The answers to these (and any other) burning questions will be answered in the next issue-sode of "the girl called Red." But only if you want to know!  



	2. The Beginning

I forgot the disclaimer type things in the prologue. I don't own any of the I-Man characters. I'm not getting any money from this and all that jazz. Red is my own creation however. This disclaimer stands for all following chapters as well. This chapter is dedicated to Liz_Z, who gave me my first review. Hope you like it.  
  
"The Beginning"  
  
It was a dark and stormy night... Okay, so it was really a bright sunny Wednesday afternoon, Darien Fawkes had been called down to the lab by Claire, the Keeper. He smiled a half smile at her, "What's up Claire? It's not booster time." The Keeper was serious, as she usually was, "I want to show you something. Someone."  
Claire led Darien to the mirrored window of the padded room, lying on the cot in the room was a girl, who appeared to be in her early twenties, she had close-cropped, but shaggy, red hair. Darien was puzzled, "She's cute. But why's she here?" Claire looked over at Darien, gauging his reaction, "She also has a Quicksilver Gland." Darien was shocked, "The Agency do this to her?" he practically snarled, turning on the Keeper. Claire stayed calm, "No. We don't know who did. She showed up on our doorstep last night with a note. Whoever put that Gland in her head didn't know about the necessity of the counteragent." Realization struck Darien, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window, "Her Gland took over, didn't it?" Claire nodded, "yes it did, or at least it started to, and they've kept her sedated ever since." Darien looked at the girl again, "How long has she been under?" The Keeper shrugged and shook her head, "We don't know, by our best estimation, a month. But it's probably been longer."  
Darien scratched his head, "So, why am I here?" Claire smiled, "She's going to come around in a few minutes, and the Agency has appointed you her Guardian." Darien knitted his eyebrows, "Her what?"  
"Her Guardian. Hobbes was yours, and now you are hers." She handed him a syringe, "You should get ready."  
Claire let Darien into the room. When the girl came to she held the back of her head and growled in pain. Darien had already made sure that there was no air in the syringe, "Hey, um, Red, give me your arm." The girl looked at him sideways and held out her arm, "More sedatives?" she asked through gritted teeth. Darien shook his head, "No. A counteragent. You'll be in charge of your own head again." He injected her she winced slightly. After a few moments she relaxed and looked at Darien, "That's better. How do you know about not being in control of your own head?" Darien shrugged nonchalantly, "I've got a Quicksilver Gland too. I thought I was the only one."  
"I thought I was. So what's this counteragent stuff for?"  
"It keeps the amount of Quicksilver in your bloodstream in check. You need shots every six days, less if you go invisible. The more often you're invisible, the more often you need shots." He sat on the foot of the bed, "Listen to me, I sound like one of them. I probably know as much about this as you do. I still have problems with control." The girl blinked in confusion, "Control? What do you mean by that?"  
Darien held out his hand so the girl could see it vanish. Then the Quicksilver cracked and splintered to the ground. The girl was amazed, "How did you do that?"  
"You can't?" The girl shook her head, "No, I'm invisible or I'm not. Even that's hard to do. I have to get my heart rate up and keep it up."  
"That's probably why they made me your Guardian, so I can teach you." Darien mused, "Do you have a name?" He asked. It was the girl's turn to shrug, "Don't know. I've been under long enough to lose things. I kinda liked it when you called me 'Red' though."  
"Red it is then. Do you know how old you are?"  
"I was eighteen when they put this thing in my head. Then it was almost a year before they figured out how it worked. That plus however long I've been under."  
"We don't know how long that's been."  
"Damn. How do we find out?" the girl asked in a worried tone. Darien ran his hands through his hair, "What's the last historic event you remember?" The girl thought for a minute, "The Oscars." Darien smiled, "That's easy enough, who won?" Red chewed the corner of her lip, "'Titanic'. I think." Darien's jaw dropped, "That was four years ago." Red perked up, "Well then, I'm at least twenty-two."  
  
Will Red resist the counteragent and go Quicksilver mad? Will the Keeper approve of calling her 'Red'? Where did Red come from? Will Hobbes approve of his partner hanging out with this girl? Will Red try to kill anyone? Will she remember any of her past life? Does she find Darien as cute as he finds her?  
The answers to these (and any other) burning questions will be revealed in future issue-sodes of 'The Girl Called Red.' But only if YOU want to know!  



	3. Of Keepers & Compromises

Red has been at the Agency for about a week. Darien was taking her down the hallway to the Keeper's lab. Red tucked her unruly red hair behind her ears, "Why does this Keeper woman want to see me now? After not wanting to since I've been here?" Darien shrugged, "Don't know. I've given up trying to figure out how the Keep's head works. Well, we're here." Darien opened the door and ushered Red through. The Keeper looked up from the fish that she was observing, "Ah, Darien, you've finally decided to grace us with your presence. Certainly took you long enough, where was she? Australia?" Darien turned defensive, "No, she was in the middle of meditating. And her name is Red." Red waved her hand between them, "Hello? You don't have to talk about me like I'm not in the room. You know, me, Red, the one who can actually hear every word that you're saying." The Keeper cocked her head, "Red? Your name is Red?" Red snapped her gum, "Yeah, you gotta problem with that?"  
"Red's not a name. It's a color." Red grinned a cocky sideways grin, "Yeah, well Keeper's not a name. It's an occupation." Darien was trying not to laugh, "Should I go? This could get ugly." The Keeper had her arms crossed, "I think it will whether you go or not." She said never breaking her eye contact with Red  
Darien nodded, "Right. I'm going."  
He left, the door swung shut behind him, The Keeper and Red sized each other up, Red blew a large bubble with her gum, snapping it noisily.  
"What kind of gum is that anyway?"  
"Cherry Cola. Want some?" The Keeper shook her head, "No thank you. Not since I got a mouthful of grape flavor stuck in my hair when I was ten."  
"I'm so sorry. Did your mom use mayonnaise?"  
"No, peanut butter."  
"Uggh." The Keeper set her clipboard on a table, "I suggest that we come to a compromise. You choose something to call me, and I'll choose something to call you." Red shrugged, "I'm fine with this, just as long as you don't think up some girly-girl name." The Keeper nodded, "Alright, the same goes for you." They both think briefly, or at least make a show of thinking. Red perks up, "I'll call you Cora."  
"Then I'll call you Shannon." Red wrinkled her nose, "Ick."  
"Ick?"  
"Shannon?"  
"Cora? Let's try again. Leighann?"  
"Claire?" The Keeper shook her head, "Not Claire."  
"Alright, not Claire. This isn't going to work.  
"Let's try once more. Think of something you DON'T want me to call you, and I'll do the same." Red shrugged again, "Okay." The Keeper sprinkled some food into the fish tank, "Not Claire, or 'doc'." Red blew another bubble, "I don't want to be called 'kid' or 'sweetheart' or anything like that."  
"Good. Well then, Quicksilver, how are you coming along?" Red was puzzled, "Coming along?" The Keeper picked up her clipboard again, "What have you learned so far?" Red shook her head ruefully, "I've learned not to get Hobbes talking about what I THINK I should and shouldn't know and..." The Keeper cut her off, "No, I mean what have you learned about your gland? Can you control the Quicksilver yet?" Red shrugged, "Sort of."  
"What do you mean 'sort of'?" Red began pacing, "Well, I have to meditate first, to calm myself down. Then, once I'm invisible, I have to concentrate to stay that way. My only problem is the fact that I'm easily distracted by bright shiny objects."  
"Show me."  
"Okay, but I'm warning you now, this might not work." Red closed her eyes, took a deep breath, tensed, and let it out. As she relaxed the Quicksilver spread, and she disappeared. The Keeper applauded, "Very good." Red reappeared in a shower if quicksilver flakes, "Thank yew, thank yew verr much."  
"Can you control it the other way?"  
"You mean be startled and stay visible? No. Dare's been trying to teach me, but my ingrained natural instinct is to hide, not stay and fight. We think that's why I'm having so much trouble." The Keeper nodded, "Yes, that's called a 'fight or flight' response, apparently you're more flight. I'm going to run a test." The Keeper reached back and snagged a Bunsen burner off the table behind her, she aimed it at Red and turned it on full blast in the same motion. Red jumped back and went invisible, "Whoa, watch it with that flame there Keep."  
"I'm sorry. But I had to be sure." Red angrily shook the quicksilver in all directions and snarled, "I've been a good little lab rat. Can I have a treat now?"  
"What would you like?"  
"I'd like to go if you don't mind, Keep." Red said, calming herself down, "Dare said he'd take me out for lunch." The Keeper was surprised, "Did he?"  
"Yeah, he did."  
"Well don't let me keep you. We can continue this some other time." Red nodded, "Okay."  
"Alright." Red left the room, Darien was waiting for her in the hallway, "I hope you left her in one piece. Hobbes would be very disappointed if the Keeper was maimed, he's kinda got a thing for her." Red snapped her gum and grinned, "Oh, and you don't?" Darien shrugged very unconvincingly and started walking down the hallway, "No, not really." Red snorted derisively, "Yeah, right. She's fine. As am I, in case you care, even AFTER she tried to torch me." Darien stopped in his tracks, "Whoa, she tried to torch you?" Red shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly, "It was a test."  
"And the names?"  
"We came to a compromise." Darien knitted his eyebrows, "What kind of compromise?" Red grinned her sideways grin, " As long as she doesn't call me 'kid' I don't call her 'doc.' And verse-visa." Darien scratched his head, "Don't you mean vice-versa?"  
"I meant what I said."  
"Of course you did. Let's go eat."   
  
Where are Darien and Red going for lunch? Do they go out together often? Will Red learn that the Keeper's name is 'Claire'? Will Red be an asset to the Agency? Will she meet the Official? When will we get to the kissing?  
The answers to these (and any other) burning questions will be answered in future Issue-sodes of 'The Girl Called Red' but only if YOU want to know!  



	4. Monitors & Monikers

Chapter 3 'Monitors & Monikers'  
  
Red and Darien were nearly finished with their lunch at Costa's, a tiny little hole-in-the-wall dive with the best Italian food in the neighborhood, if not the city. Darien reached across the table to get the Parmesan cheese, Red caught his arm and turned it so she could see the tattoo on his wrist, "An ouroboros." Darien was puzzled, "A what?" Red smiled and ran her finger around the outline of the snake, "Your tattoo, it's an ouroboros, a snake eating its own tail. It's an ancient Egyptian symbol representing the passing of time, life into death, an eternity. Something like that." She cocks her head and looks at it again, "Wasn't it mostly green yesterday?" Darien snatched his hand away and looked at his monitor, "Ah crap."  
"What's up?" Darien shook his head, "Nothing, I just need another shot that's all." Now it was Red's turn to be puzzled, "You can tell that by looking at your tattoo?" Darien nodded, "Yeah, it's a monitor, and it's probably about time that you got one."  
When they got back to the Agency building, they went straight to the lab. The Keeper gave Darien his dose of counteragent, "Cutting it a little close aren't you Darien?"  
"You know me Keep. If it's not down to the wire, what's the point?" The Keeper made an exasperated noise and turned to Red, "You need a monitor. This will only take a minute." Red sat down so the Keeper could implant her monitor. The pattern the Keeper chose was a snail, "Now, as the snail's shell segments turn red you'll need a shot of counteragent."  
"I think I had that part figured out."  
"The latest that you can get a shot before you go mad is here." She pointed to the second to the last segment, "If it goes completely red, well, we'll think of something when, and if, that happens. Now Darien, I think that it would be an excellent time to teach Darla how to Quicksilver outside objects."  
"You sure she's ready for that Keep?" Red waved her hand between them, "Hello? I'm still in the room. I don't like 'Darla' and I'm not ready for outside objects yet."  
"Okay, I won't call you Darla. I think you are ready. Darien, you can take her to the office down the hall." Darien left the room, Red reluctantly followed. In the office Darien picked up a paperweight and Quicksilvered it, "See? It really is simple." He shook the Quicksilver off and handed the paperweight to Red, "Now you try." Red held the lump of glass and concentrated. Her hand went invisible, but not the paperweight, "I can't do this Dare."  
"Why? And don't give me some cockamamie reason like 'it's too hard'."  
"Well it is." Darien smiled at her and took the paperweight, "No, it's not. Watch." The paperweight vanished, "See? You just have to concentrate." Red tried and tried again, nothing happened, "I told you I couldn't do this!" She growled.  
"Try again." Red cocked her arm back and threw the paperweight across the room with a cry of frustration, it knocked a lamp off a desk. Darien smiled, "That's one way to make it disappear. Look, the lamp disappeared too." Red half smiled, her sudden flash of anger gone, "Sorry. I didn't mean to..." Darien cut her off, "Throw the paperweight? 'Cause, well, that's what happened. Then you hit the poor defenseless lamp. I think you killed it." Red smiled and shook her head. Darien started rubbing her shoulders, his thumbs making small circles around the edges of her shoulder blades, "You need to relax. Don't force it, you'll drive yourself crazy." Red sighed and rolled her head forward, "Thanks Dare."  
"For what?"  
"For this," She shrugged, "it's nice." She paused to enjoy it for a moment, "I remembered something this morning."  
"That's great, what was it?" Red chewed the corner of her lip, "My old job."  
"Which would be?" Red chewed her lip again, "I was a pickpocket. A damn good one as I recall." Darien stopped massaging Red's shoulders and turned her to face him, "Have you told them yet?" Red shook her head, "No, I was going to get your opinion on the subject first." Darien shrugged one shoulder, "Well, They're okay with my being a thief."  
"Yeah, well your brother was the head of the Quicksilver program. I have no such connections."  
"Hey, you've got me, and the Keeper, and if it comes right down to it, Hobbes will stick up for you too. I know he will. He's got a soft spot for you." Red snorted derisively, "I'm sure. Are we done now?"  
"Yeah, we're done. We can try again later." Red went back into the Keeper's lab, "Kat, I've got a question." The Keeper looked up from what she was doing, "Kat's a good one. What would you like to know?" Red looked at the floor, "Would you mind if I meditated in here? I feel comfortable in here, with all the animals and all, and if you say no, that's okay too." She said in a rush. The Keeper smiled, "Eve, it's alright. I'll even give you a key if you like." Red looked up at her, "You'd do that?"  
"Well, I gave Darien one, and at least YOU'RE going to use the lab for something constructive. You like the animals?" Red brightened, "Yeah, I've even got names for some of them." The Keeper put down her clipboard, "You do? What are they?" Red was taken aback, "You really want to know?"  
"Well, anything would be better than serial numbers, which is all they've got now."  
"Oh, okay. Um, the rat with the black patch that kind of looks like a widow's peak, that's Lugosi."  
"Ah, as in Bella, the Count." Red grinned, "Yeah, I was obsessed with Vampires for a while when I was younger. The lizard with the ridge is Dimitri, short for Dimetrodon, you know? The dinosaur? Another childhood obsession. I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up."  
"So did I."  
The Keeper and Red named the rest of the animals in the lab before dark. It was a moment of bonding for both of them.  
  
Where does Red live? Why does she like the animals in the lab? What other Vampires did she like? Does the Keeper know any interesting Dinosaur facts? Why is there STILL no kissing?  
The answers to these (and any other) burning questions will be answered in future Issue-sodes of 'The Girl Called Red.' Because YOU want to know!  
  
  
If there's anything you want revealed, just let me know.  



	5. Killing Dreams

Sorry this one took a little longer, crazy week. This chapter is dedicated to all of my millions of readers. How many of you are there anyway?  
  
"Killing Dreams"  
  
A week after the Keeper had put Red's monitor in, Red and Darien were sitting in the corner booth of Costa's having breakfast. Darien's coffee was sitting on the table, long since forgotten, "It is possible to go Quicksilver mad. I've done it. I told the Keeper that if it ever happened again, I didn't want counteragent. I wanted a bullet." Red quietly sucked Tiramisu off her spoon, "What are you telling me Dare? Are you trying to say that you'd do the same for me? Or are you telling me you want me to do the same for you?" Darien scratched his head, "Both, I think." Red sighed heavily, "Okay. My turn, I guess. I've been having dreams Darien." Darien smiled lopsidedly, "Dreams of fame and fortune?" Red shook her head and set her spoon down, "No. Killing dreams." Darien was suddenly serious, "About who?" Red closed her eyes, "Keep, Hobbes. You."  
"When you say me, do you mean that I have a cameo appearance?" Red opened her eyes again, "I'd say more of a starring role."  
"Ah crap. Lemmie see your monitor." Red laid her left arm across the table, "It's still green. The same as it's been all day. I've been checking it every few minutes. Anyhow, I had a shot yesterday." Darien looked at it anyway, "Still green. When I went over the edge and failed in killing Hobbes, I tried to kill myself." Red smiled, "Wouldn't work for me, I'm too stubborn to die." She rubbed her wrist, removing a thin layer of foundation and revealing a hairline scar, "I know from experience." Darien ran his finger lightly across the scar, "You slit your wrist?" Red nodded, "Both of them. Twice. Before that it was an overdose of aspirin."  
"Aspirin?"  
"It was all we had in the house. It's not a pleasant experience to have your stomach pumped at the ripe old age of fifteen." Darien was shocked, "Fifteen? When was the wrist slitting?"  
"Seventeen and eighteen. The second time the doctors said that I'd lost enough blood that by all rights I should've died. I didn't though, and right after that I had the gland implanted in my head." Darien shook his head in puzzlement, "What happened to you that would make you attempt suicide?"  
"I don't remember. All I remember is that I tried." Darien realized that his fingers were still touching Red's wrist, he quickly moved them, "So, in these dreams, how do I die?" Red ticked points off on her fingers, "Gunshot, strangulation, gutting." Darien made a disgusted face, "Gutting? With what?" Red flexed the fingers of her left hand.  
"You gut me barehanded?" Darien asked incredulously. Red nodded slowly.  
"Nobody's fingers are that strong."  
"Mine are." Darien snorted, "Prove it."  
"Give me your spoon."  
"You have your own spoon."  
"I know, but I can make a better point if I use yours." Darien wiped off his spoon with his napkin and handed it to Red. She took it and bent it down the middle of the bowl, across the line of the handle, with the index finger and thumb of her left hand. She held it up by the handle, "Proof enough for you?"  
"Yeah."  
"Good, now let's pay our tab and get out of here. Keep wanted us at the lab early today."  
  
Will Red's dreams come true? Who will she really try to kill? Will she tell anyone else that she's having dreams? Will Darien? Why did she try to commit suicide on three separate occasions?  
  
The answers to these (and any other) burning questions will be answered in future Issue-sodes of 'The Girl Called Red'  
Because YOU want to know  
If anyone wants anything revealed, just ask. I'll let you know.  



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